08 October 2010

Behold the Turban: a lesson of practicality

Every Sydneysider who's with it knows that Kirrily Johnston is Australia's answer to mecca for every self-respecting Man Offender.

It's just something about those long capes, chunky tribal jewellery the size of a small animal and most recently...

Behold: the turban that shits on all the others (all except for this one).

She don't need no man to keep her warm at night

She has succsesfully identified a gap in the market - as no doubt each and every one of us has a deep-seated hankering for headwear that closely resembles a tumour.

This is perfect for my work Christmas party!

I'll be jumping hurdles to wear a turban so large this weekend. It would at least serve the purpose of:
1. Storing my goodies
2. Repelling

I wonder if this is what KJ had in mind? If so, how thoughtful of her, creating something both aesthetically pleasing and PRACTICAL!

I bet girlfriend here is storing all manner of objects up in there.

I speculate turban wearing comes in handy for one (or more) of these reasons:

1: A gigantic head has the added benefit of minimising a body to teensy tiny proportions.
2: By rebelling against social norms she is critiquing the social landscape and oppressive nature in which we live.. (or something...)
3: A small but mighty army of elves have taken up residence within.
4: She's concealing a massive stash of cocaine baby
5: She has an aversion to sex, which she hopes to convey by wearing garments likely to offend men.
6: She's got a South Dowling Sandwich in there. She's either saving it for later or hiding it from her jealous coworkers in the guise of avant-garde tendencies.

Whatever the reason, this is something we want in on!

Out of simple curiosity, we decided to take a leaf out of KJ's fashion pages.

Only inside the confines of home, we promised ourselves.

I'm avant garde chic
KJ would be so proud

But hey, we thought. Since we've gone to all this effort, why not get a bang for our buck and take it to the streets.

We just couldn't resist..

There we were, turban-clad, roaming the streets of Chippendale and making a trip to our local bottle 'O.

We couldn't help but draw stares from passersby and shop owners. Despite this we discovered wearing turbans is addictive... so stay tuned...

In other news:
Will you be my turban wearing man friend?

Are you questioning my taste in men?

You wouldn't be the first...

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  1. Great post! Love your blog!


  2. You've added a new twist to the old turban. Nice blog, keep it up. Then come to mine when you have time.