A Chronic Case of Man Repelling

These two asshats recently found their calling in life at a sidewalk second-hand book stall. Clenching books to direct them on their journey, the 22 year olds: a law studying shit-kicker (above) and a PR executive (below); prepare for their wild future as spinsters.

Now let us introduce you to our gospel: The Man Repeller

Based on the scriptures of our favourite fella repella Leandra Medine (pictured below with her "MC Hammer pants"), we stand united in our peen softening glory, otherwise known as: any outfit inspired by The Sartorialist, but likely to invoke the look of confusion and disgust from male passers-by.



Dressed for a lifetime of celibacy in our Gorman Clogs and Lover pinafores, we have more luck scoring lady boners on Crown Street than we do a dancefloor pash at the Ivy.

But in our eternal ambivalence, we drool over cock-blocking sartorial choices like Chloe Sevigny’s high waisted leather bloomers,

Sosexy
Agness Deyn’s seductive orange lipstick














Aggy's Dopple!

And no fuss hairdo's like the top knot, as seen on many runways in Milan, New York, London and speed-dating at the Greenwood.

He loves it (knot!)
But don't get us wrong, life for the chronic dick-deflector is not without its comforts. We pleasure ourselves on the likes of chastity belts harem pants from Cream on Crown, and fur gillets from Grandma Takes a Trip.

But for those contemplating the decision to quit propellin’ and start repellin', one must weigh up the options: Alexander’s wang or Alexander Wang?

We'll take Alexander Wang Tassel-Wedges over any other wang, anyday

10 points if you can spot the cock rockers… and the cock blockers:





















To further illustrate our point, here are the top four reason's we're single man repelling trends we love this season.

1. Oversized blazers


2. Non-prescription glasses


Now I feel so hipster...and so single..
3. Vintage Dresses, Granny prints and pastels
According to Freudian theory ... guys should be lining up!"
We are crushing hard on Nicole from Gary Pepper Vintage
4. Shoulder pads

Party like it's 1985!
5. Animal print en masse


















Grrrr
Sorry labia, it's going to be another lonely winter.

To keep us warm at night, however, we have collected these images of our favourite online repellers :
The dungaree (we ♥).

Yvan Rodic captures universe-repelling where it all began - in Iceland
Meg from Another Day To Dress Up, repelling in frumpy granny pants.


Isabel Marant wins again
A typical conversation held between two Inner-Sydney-dwelling Man-Repellers
Rachel: fiddle sticks!
Anna Lou: What ever has happened?
Rachel: Im wearing socks and clogs again today. You'd think the looks of revulsion i got the first time would be enough to make me change my ways....
Anna Lou: *ranting* I currently look menopausal in high waisted work pants and bright red shawl. My mum said I looked terrific. The Persian security guard who usually calls me 'Missy' or 'Darling', said to me "Morning madam". MADAM. THEN, at the printer, I am approached and asked: "Excuse me, are you Professor Kyeong from room 4.311?" I was perplexed, for starters to think that I am Asian is rather interesting, I mean, I know I'm extremely exotic looking, but Asian? really? Secondly, for me to be a professor means a good 10 years of study, and another 10 years of academic asshattery, bringing me to the age of about forty.

How is your day?

Leaving the nest

Like the Blue Crested Chickadee of America's Rocky Mountains, the Sydneysider, once weened from the city's bountiful tit, will venture from the nest to explore greener pastures.

The natural urge for the Sydneysider will be to explore the country's other major city: Babysydney, otherwise known as Melbourne.


The Sydneysider is often drawn to Melbourne's Babysydney's infamous abundancy of culture and art.

This is evident during a stroll down a typical Babysydney laneway.

It was teeming with art and life.


Sydneysiders will seek a resting place in one of Babysydney's thriving cultural precincts.


Home to the likes of Flaubert, Klimt and Guy Sebastian

The Sydneysider bears the indistinguishable markings of the larger, and thus much greaterbeautifulabsolutelyfuckingfabulous city of Sydney, and will thus attempt anonyminity with a facial disguise.



Do we look like Melbournians Babysydneans now?

Only the strongest Sydneysiders will be able carry off the facial disguise. Others must seek anonymity with a sartorial disguise. Babysydney is the style capital, afterall.
Brunswick Street Babysurryhills hosted all our sartorial desires



These are perfect

Come hither Scott Schuman

I feel so awesome in this jumper

But the markings of the Sydneysider will always be detected by the trained Melbournian Babysydnean eye.




"What a SCOOP!"

The meek Sydneysider will attempt a hasty escape.



But will often find obstacles in tram systems.





The exploration of Babysydney can sometimes leave the Sydneysider with feelings of dissatisfaction, and rage.






Babysydney gave her a bad taste. However, she highly enjoyed the benefits of her Babysydney sartorial choices. That is, dressing as the lovechild of a troll and a smurf.

But irrelevent to this, Babysydney will always be known and loved for its fine wine:




Mmmm

Food:


And street art.


*glistening tear* This is profound


The Sydneysider feels a natural compulsion to gain street-cred




But what does it mean?